Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Bugs or an exotic dance . . .

This is part of the Absolute Write June blog chain.

This month's prompt: 
Yep. Bugs. Simple and easy. Prose, poetry, play. Fiction, nonfiction. It's all good, all bugs.
Bugs.  Creepy crawly bugs.  Well, not really, they are crawly, and I don’t love them, as in pick them up and play with them.  But I was never one to be freaked out by them.  Little bitty bug, big human, swat or squish, as the case may be.  Except spiders.

Spiders get trapped and set outside, or let live indoors depending on the sort of spider that they are.  It’s bad luck to kill a spider, so out they went, and still do.  I always hated the hard body, yucky, spiders in the barn, they always made a web where you had to walk through them doing the crazy dance—me doing the crazy dance, not the spiders, though I always thought they were shaking in their webs dancing just to get me.  I used a broom to go through the barn door—so, we got along okay.

I grew up mostly in Wisconsin.  You might not think of Wisconsin as a state big on bugs—other than the mosquito (it’s the state bird!), but living in a small town, at 6 years old, we would go to the A&W for a once in a while treat.  I’d sit next to the window and watch the June bugs hit the window and crawl along the sill—they always creeped me out a bit, I mean, isn’t that what they make fly tape from?  It’s the right color and the darned things stick to you just as well.  Get either one in your hair and you’ll never get it out!

One July, after moving into a different house, we went back to my parent’s farm to get a washing machine we had stored in the granary.  Now, picture this, old fashioned stairs, the narrowish open sort, no railing of any kind, just rough wooden steps going up through a hole in the floor.  We got the washer to the top of the stairs and somehow I ended up on the bottom walking backwards holding my end, the top.  We got about half way down and it shifted . . .

Apparently there was water inside, it has been sitting under a leak in the roof.  What I didn’t expect was that it was also full of June bugs.  Yes, full of the big fat, fly tape colored, June bugs.  And guess where they ended up?

You got it.  All over me, in my hair, down my shirt, at least I wasn’t wearing a bra or they’d of been in there as well . . . Everywhere that a June bug shouldn't be even on a third date, much less on a first one!  I had nowhere to go, stuck on those steps, drop the washer and it would end up on top of me, so had to endure those bugs until I got to the bottom.  The washer got dropped and I ran out of the granary, pulling off my shirt and batting those bugs off me, trying to get them out of my hair. 

I ran across the barnyard and turned on the hose, and started spraying myself with it.  Those bugs flowed off me in a wiggling sea of brown.
Relieved, I turned off the water, only then realizing that all he farm hands were sitting on the cement stock tank taking a break.  Glad I could entertain them, maybe I should have made it an act . . . Scratch that.  June Bugs.  Shudder.  Fly tape would have been better, at least it would have offered some coverage! 

These days, I am mostly blind, and I can bat a June bug outa the air at 2 ft (the length of my arm) by the sound alone, that’ll show you—you creepy things!

Please visit the other posts for this months prompt:

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  1. Dude, OMG. I hate bugs on my body. Being creeped out by flying cockroaches in my hair is one thing. But to have creepy crawlies all in my clothes? Holy, oh nos. Eek!

  2. There is NOTHING worse than June bugs! I feel for you, I reallly do. I can't even imagine what that would have been like. *shudder*

  3. Oh my. My, my, my. Yuck! There are not enough descriptive nasty adjectives to express how gross that is. Soooooo..... no bra, no shirt, and a water down with the hose---in front of the farm hands? Yep. You should have charged for that one. :)

    (Cindy from AW)

  4. June bugs in your shirt....literally let out a huge "EEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW" when I read that part. That would scar me for LIFE.

  5. June bugs remind me WAY too much of flying roaches. And yeah, I've had the buggers in my shirt. ew ew and EW. :)

  6.'re *all* grossing me out. I'll come back after you've called the exterminator.

  7. That is so gross!!! I don't think I'd have had the semblance of mind to not drop the washer down the stairs the moment I saw the bugs. (AW-MsLaylaCakes)

  8. Thanks for the comments everyone, I can tell you that June bugs completely freak me out, now. Can not stand even the sound of them flying.

  9. Bet the June Bugs were getting a kick out of it...probably bragging about getting to first base even now! Sorry for your distress, but it makes for a great read! thanks for sharing.

  10. I would have been in therapy the rest of my life if that happened to me. I'm so creeped out right now.

  11. Even if I know they're harmless, I can't stand bugs getting all up in my grill. June bugs are no exception; I'm happy to let them live unless they invade my personal space. Another reason to let spiders live: they'll kill bugs for you by the truckload :)

    By the by, I think you meant "my parents' farm" instead of "my parent’s farm" there.