Thursday, December 20, 2012

Are you insured for the end of the world?

This is this months blog for the AW blog chain:

This month's prompt: 
The End (of the World)

Yes, since the predicted Mayapocalypse only fails to materialize once every 500 years or so we are piggybacking on it. Write what you will about the end of the world (those disinclined to eschatology can write about "the end" in a broader sense). Hopefully, after these ends of the world as we know it, we'll all feel fine.

I thought I better get this one done today.  I got bumped once, had some issues.  And you know with the end coming tomorrow—better late—umm early—than never.  Ever since jr high I’ve known about this supposed end of the world stuff.  I did a report and project on the Mayans.   Why does so much point to something big happening in 2012?

In 2012 we had a hail storm that put an end to the roof on the house.  We had insurance so it got taken care of.  I wonder if the world as we know it ends to tomorrow, will insurance pay out?  Is there a such thing as Armageddon insurance? That got me thinking so I did some research.  Here’s what I found you decide if these places are for real.

This is what they have to say about their product:

Why wait until the last moment and let yourself and your family get caught off guard? With ARMaGEDDON INSURANCE you are protected from the effects of the END OF THE WORLD!

With ARMaGEDDON INSURANCE you are protected against lightning strikes, plague, flood, famine, boils, raging fires, locusts, and death of first-born.

Also: ARMaGEDDON INSURANCE has a extended coverage policy  to protect you from falling objects, glass spray, errand bullets, missle strikes, and accidental drowning.

Or...upgrade to...

ARMaGEDDON INSURANCE PREMIUM covers you not only for what the regular and extended policys cover but...get this...never before offered...a once in a life-time opportunity...ARMaGEDDON INSURANCE PREMIUM covers you for attacks by BEASTS with number pads, SATAN, LUCIFER, and every derivitive of the names of the DEVIL... errand attacks by a God or Gods bearing any of these names: ALLAH, YAHWEH, JEHOVAH, and as an extra FREE benefit JUPITER, ODIN, and ZEUS.

And they even offer testimonials!  Now there’s a deal!

This site even offers a count down clock!  But this is what they page says today:

The 2012 Apocalypse Insurance Company
Thank you for your support and interest!
Unfortunately, you're too late!

There isn't enough time left before the world ends on Friday to process any more 2012 Apocalypse Insurance requests, so we've had to shut down our order system.

Don't worry though, all open orders have been shipped, and according to the USPS, they will all arrive before 12-21-2012!

See you on the other side!

-The Management

Opps, guess a little too late for that one better revert to plan B, if there is one.

This site even offers end of the world party gear!  What else could you ask for? 

Doomsday Jesters and its subsidiary Doomsday Mutual Insurance Company want you to be insured against all disasters that Earth may experience on December 21, 2012. The ideal gift for Doomsday preppers and doubters alike, each insurance package comes with a personalized certificate and insurance card and your Doomsday policy. Each certificate is printed in full color on thick, high quality parchment, totally suitable for framing, and enhanced with our gold embossed seal to give your certificate a look and feel as official as Doomsday Mutual Insurance Company is unofficial. The certificate is customized with the name of the recipient and date the policy was issued. Our insurance card, which you can proudly pull from your wallet, is also personalized and is hermetically sealed to keep the dirt, blood and bacteria of Doomsday off. The insurance policy is a lifetime policy and is payable for all Earth-ending events, even those that might occur beyond December 21, 2012. Simply present your Claim Form to the Home Office following total global destruction and simultaneous extinction of humanity. Get yourself, your loved ones, your friends and your pets all covered before Armageddon covers all of you.

Umm, okay.  If they say so but the stuff is kinda nifty looking.

So there you have it, insurance for the end of the world.  You decide real or fake, but don’t wait too long or there won’t be any need for it.

Please visit these blogs ot see what others are doing ot gt ready for the end.

Participants and posts:
orion_mk3: (link to post)
dolores haze - (link to post)
randi.lee - (link to post)
writingismypassion - (link to post)
bmadsen - (link to post)
Ralph Pines - (link to post)
AllieKat - (link to post)
MsLaylaCakes - (link to post)
katci13 - (link to post)
Angyl78 - (link to post)
pyrosama - (link to post)
Araenvo - (link to post)
CJ Michaels - (link to post)
SuzanneSeese - (link to post)
gell214 - (link to post)
SRHowen - (link to post)

meowzbark - (link to post)
Aheïla - (link to post)
BBBurke - (link to post)


  1. Haha! Too funny.

    I think I want to upgrade to the premium please. :)

  2. How deliciously creative! LOVED IT~!

  3. I bet they don't offer refunds. :)
    Fun post!

  4. It's like offering atom bomb insurance--what does it matter if you have it when the insurance office is blown away too?

    I'm torn between condescending tsking at people dumb enough to buy it and grudging appreciation for the people who used it to make a buck. Great post!

  5. I have to go with grudging appreciation. Just when you think you've seen everything, I now know where I can buy an ascension robe. Too funny.
    Great job with the prompt.

  6. I've always been afraid of errand bullets. No, wait, that's just errands I'm afraid of.

  7. Thanks everyone! and now off to see if I can get a refund . . .

  8. I've long felt that Zeus had something against me - so I'm getting the insurance, lol.