Jeans. Blue Jeans. Levis.
Good old fashioned Blue Jeans. What ever happened to them? These days it seems that every ad I see for
Jeans are not really Jeans at all but stretch pants made to look like jeans.
Point one, Jeans don’t snag. Who the
heck wants jeans that snag? Yup, I want
to go out on a wildlife run and bump a cage against my leg and have little
white loops of elastic sticking out of my jeans. Or better yet, get a rip in
those suckers and you better hope you are not going commando because they are
going to rip faster than paper in shredder—what ever happened to the hole in
the jeans that just sorta frayed at the edges? You could write on them if you
were bored, slash then across the knee is you were going horseback riding to
make knees more comfortable . . .
I miss real jeans that lasted for years and years. Not a few
months.
And fur, I don’t know if you’ve noticed but the new, flatter
your figure, with tummy tuck panel, “jeans” attract fur and lint like
crazy. I never needed a lint roller with
my old jeans. Brush your hands down them
and poof whatever was stuck on them was gone. You could camp for days in one
pair of jeans and they still looked good.
Remember lying on the bed so you could zip your jeans? Pass the coat hanger, please, I need to zip
my pants. Now you don’t even know what
size to get, not just because the sizes have changed, but because you take them
out of the dryer and they fit rather nice, but 2 hours later you don’t even
need to unbutton them to use the bathroom.
How does that slim you? Old jeans
hid flaws, you put them on slightly damp and poof a real lasting tummy tuck.
Now, I thought what about men’s jeans, surely they haven’t
joined the elastic revolution. (Seriously,
how would these things survive a zombie apocalypse?) (Oh, wait, I can’t behead
this zombie, my pants just fell down because they get bigger as the day goes
on.) Anyway, the men’s department, nothing
like a man in 501 button fly jeans—or almost out of them.
And guess what, even a lot of men’s jeans are now touted as
having “comfort fabric.”
But I did discover that they still make 501’s. Maybe I’ll just hang out in the men’s
department for awhile . . .
Enjoyed reading your post. I remember lying on the floor with all my girlfriends, zipping up our pants after trying for a long time to get our feet through the leg hole at the bottom because we sewed them so tight. And 501's are now so expensive, you can hardly afford them for your kids or yourself.
ReplyDeleteI'm so with you on this one, Shawn. I don't remember my jeans bagging on me in high school. The size they were when I put them on in the morning were they size they were when I took them off at night. Now, I'm constantly having to pull my pants up. It's annoying!
ReplyDeleteSo funny, yet so sad. Seems like I'm not the only one yanking up my pants like an old coot. Women shouldn't need suspenders. You’re right about the fuzz too; avoid black jeans like the plague now.
ReplyDeleteOne of my pairs of jeans is starting to look worn and ragged, and I know a wardrobe malfunction is just WAITING to happen below one of the back pockets. I've had this pair for a couple years, and I'm not looking forward to replacing them because of all the reasons you mentioned!
ReplyDeleteI did make the mistake of getting black "jeans" this last time, ones my daughter picked up for me . . . Right out of the bag they had fuzz. UGH!
ReplyDelete